Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “I hate my body”, “I hate that I look like this”, or “I wish I had a body like my favorite celebrity instead”? Well, you are not alone because just like you, there are many women out there who struggle with body image and self-esteem. They often feel trapped in their own body and have a distorted view of themselves making it harder for them to love themselves.

We know it isn’t good to put ourselves down and degrade your self-worth, but sometimes we just can’t help but feel bad about ourselves and compare ourselves to others. So where does negative self-image come from?

Well, it can start as early as our childhood. You see, ever since we were young, we were exposed to many different kinds of media and had interactions with a variety of people. Through these, certain beliefs and misconceptions were ingrained in us at an early age.

For example, we may have been taught that in order for a person to be loved by everyone else at school, they’d need to dress or act in a certain way. We may have seen movies that tell us that protagonists tend to be of certain skin color or that the main lead in a romantic series should always be of a certain weight or height.

So with these ideas, and in our desire to be loved, accepted, and admired by other people and by a significant other, we subject ourselves to cruel and oftentimes, impossible standards of beauty which lead to a negative self-image.

So how can we fix this and feel better about ourselves? Well, the first thing you can do is to stop constantly comparing yourself with others. Everybody’s situation is different and our strengths are different as well. For example, comparing your body shape to an A-list Hollywood is simple self-torture because those are people who can afford to pay people like dieticians, personal trainers, and even professional photographers who can edit their photos for them.

Secondly, if you really think you are unattractive, try listing the reasons why, and the things you can do from now on to work on it. For example, if you really think you’re overweight, then start by motivating yourself and planning on how to lose weight. Then once you achieve this, you will feel better about yourself because of your achievement as well.

Another thing we have to work on is our perception. You see, a lot of people who think they are unattractive have a lot of insecurities and these insecurities all stem from them focusing on the negative aspects of themselves. If we only see the negative parts of ourselves, then those traits get magnified in our minds and we end up with a distorted perspective of ourselves.

Bottom line – it’s hard to learn to love ourselves after years or even decades of self-loathing, but it’s definitely not impossible. We simply need to do these things to unlock our motivation and get ourselves started on the path of improvement. We all have the need to feel attractive, special, and loved. The only problem is when we start using unrealistic standards to achieve those needs and we end up with a negative self-image.

Is it time to find new ways to meet your needs? 

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Louise xx