Positivity from Within

Somewhere along the way, we’re pretty sure you’ve heard some of the standard positivity messages such as, “Manifest positive things into reality!”, “Stay positive!”, “Attract good vibes only!” and many others aimed to cheer us up or to look at the bright side. However, much like many things in this world, not everybody likes it and you may be one of them.

You see, for some people, phrases like this are too vague or sometimes even hypocritical because just who exactly can stay positive all the time, right? 

Sometimes these phrases can even alienate you from the people telling them.

It’s like when somebody tells you, to “chill” when your environment is clearly pressuring you and you just can’t afford to “chill” even if you want to and you just really need to vent out these emotions. There may also be other reasons why positive pep talk might not work on you even though you try your best to accept it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, how you talk to yourself is indeed a fundamental part of how you control your own state and your own emotions. The last thing you want to be doing is telling yourself what a loser you are!

It’s like saying, “just stop eating so much” to a binge eater or someone who is clearly overweight. Do you think they don’t know that already?!

Here’s the thing. The reason positive self-talk doesn’t make any difference to you is due to one big factor:

Past conditioning!

Like all of us, we have a vast array of conditioning events in our past – most of which are entirely unconscious – for what has to happen first, before you’re even able to believe any positive self-talk in the first place. 

Your circumstances and environment back then may have made you feel unworthy, unloved, and stressed. All of this can contribute to a less positive worldview and become less optimistic about things.

For example: Perhaps you grew up in an environment where you felt left out or even neglected. Or maybe you didn’t get the love and acceptance that you craved – or at least in the way that you craved it.

All of this does is serve to create the belief that you’re less important, or even that you’re not enough. 

On top of this as weird and counterintuitive as it sounds, you currently think that there is some kind of benefit to continuing to talk cr*p to yourself.

Maybe you think, that if you start being kind and loving to yourself, then you’re effectively letting yourself off the hook, this is going to lead to laziness and therefore let your standards slide even further. 

And! You probably also assume that punishing yourself is going to change your behaviour.

Punishment is notoriously unreliable as a means of behavioural change.  (Read the blog here: https://louisett.com/2021/12/30/do-you-ever-use-negative-self-talk-to-do-better/

However, since it’s all that you know, you just keep at it, hoping that you’ll transform by magic! 

Stacking these negative habits up and doing them repetitively can often cause a lot of problems later on.

Hence, if you want to encourage yourself to give and accept positive self-help talk, then you have to pout in the effort to practice. Yes, there is absolutely an element of practice and repetition. However, this is only going to work if you get rid of all the crap that’s preventing you from giving yourself permission to believe it or persist with it in the first place.

And the real secret ingredient is SELF AWARENESS.

Ask yourself :

“Why would I NOT want to stop talking negatively to myself?”  

This is going to help you draw out those unconscious blindspots that have been blocking you. 

And then?

Then you truly allow the “magic” to happen and can start to work on eliminating those self beliefs once and for all.

Remember that your efforts deserve due recognition, and nobody is supposed to recognize your efforts more other than yourself. Therefore, by being aware of your bad mental habits that damage your self-esteem, you can better avoid it practice better ones to uplift yourself with your own positivity from within.  

No vision board or chanting is required! 

Much love 

Louise