The Journey of Self-Love

Self-esteem is an invisible yet important aspect of ourselves. It defines how confident and happy we are about ourselves and even how much of ourselves we put out there in the world. This then enables us to access far more opportunities that come our way.

Having good self-esteem is certainly possible for any of us. In fact, some of you reading this may already have good self-esteem or are already building one. However, as difficult it is to build good self-esteem, it is also easy to have it destroyed by anxiety, depression, toxic social environments, and other factors. 

So, in this article, we’re going to find out more about it.

Having low self-esteem

This may come in the form of intrusive thoughts such as, “What if my friends don’t actually like me?”, “What if I’m being too annoying/”, or “What if my business fails?”. A lot of these fears are unfounded and always assume the worst to happen before they even occur. This leads to more sadness and even anxiety attacks.

At this point, you can do one of two things: 1) Get out of your comfort zone and do something you don’t fundamentally enjoy doing and channeling your stress into energy to keep going, or 2) Procrastinate and never get anything done essentially wallowing in thoughts of negative self-worth.

Not being “good enough”

 “Maybe once I earn this much they will finally start to recognize me.”, “If I weigh and look this way he/she will finally love me.” Or “If my business succeeds, the father will recognize me” These thoughts trick you into thinking that self-worth is something that should come from outside or from other people. That once other people take notice of our efforts, we might finally attain happiness.

However, this is far from the truth. Self-worth comes from the inside from ourselves. Love is not an object that you receive, it’s something that you do for others and especially for yourself. 

Many people suffer an entire lifetime never feeling good enough because they are constantly seeking self-worth from the outside in.

We’ve been taught how parents have unconditional love for their children meaning that children shouldn’t have anything to prove or do to receive love from their parents. So, why are you setting requirements for yourself such as being skinny enough, pretty enough, successful enough, smart enough, etc. just to love yourself being? If we give and receive unconditional love from other people, that’s even more reason for us to give it to ourselves.

Self-acceptance is key 

Now that you know the importance of unconditional self-love, it’s time to apply and practice it to yourself gradually. Consistently reaffirm with yourself how much you like everything about your body, your personality, and all the things you have achieved so far no matter how big or insignificant it may seem.

Now, as you do the things you enjoy, you start to genuinely feel joy from it that you haven’t felt in a long time. The reason is that this time you aren’t doing it in search of someone’s approval. You’re doing it solely for yourself.

You can start by asking what goals you want to achieve and why. You may even reevaluate some key aspects of your life and start working on them one at a time such as fitness/health goals, relationship goals, financial goals, business goals, etc. Just imagine what kind of goals you can set for yourself once you start doing it not for others, but only for you. Isn’t that beautiful?

You will no longer have things that you should do no matter what, but now you will have things that you want to do and choose to do willingly. This is all because you now know just how much you actually love and treasure yourself even without others’ opinions. It´s no longer about escaping feelings of inadequacy or not feeling good enough, its now about what excites you and is moving you TOWARDS a life you love. Indeed, self-love is one of the best types of love one can give and receive oneself.