With the constant bombardment of other people’s lives that we see on social media, it can be quite hard for us to not compare ourselves with others. Oftentimes, this leads us to harbor feelings of misery and hopelessness about our own situation which is definitely not healthy.

If you feel like you are your own worst critic and that tiny voice inside your head won’t leave you alone, then this article is right for you!

It’s normal enough for us to feel a little envious of others sometimes. They seem like they have nice things and we also want that, so why not? The problem usually comes when that emotion turns toxic and casts a shadow of doubt over our own lives and achievements.

It’s a problem when you use what others show on social media as your metric of how miserable you’re supposed to feel. Acting as if their lives are an impossible standard that you must achieve yourself. This is not healthy as we all know that what people show on social media, can often be far removed from reality.  

It’s easy enough for us to tell you to not believe anything people show on social media, but fortunately we also have some good tips you can use to help yourself rise up against your own self-doubt and gain your self-esteem once more.  

Why do we need self-esteem?

Self-esteem refers to how we view ourselves.  Self-esteem is the overall opinion we have and believe about ourselves and the value we place on ourselves as humans. 

The difference between confident people and people with low self-esteem can often be found in their mentality. Confident people think of themselves in a positive way saying things like “I’m worthy”, I’m lovable”, or “I am enough”. This leads them to behave in ways that reinforce what they are thinking. This is why you need self-esteem in order to be a confident person.

Compare that with someone with low self-esteem who view themselves internally – what we believe about ourselves and is based on negativity by having thoughts such as, “I’m disgusting”, “No one can ever love me”, or “I will never be enough”, you are also reflecting this in the way you act or behave in your daily life. What you think about yourself becomes your reality.

Now, we are not blaming you for having this mindset because there are experiences that can lead us to have this kind of thinking. It may have been an experience with other people during our childhood, or it may have been something that was said to us recently. There are many things that can lead us to have lower self-esteem. This is why we must be able to move past it in order to grow.

The negative and intrusive thoughts that you have are often just your mind trying to put yourself down because of potential scenarios or some things that may have happened to you before. This is why we need to change our thinking little by little every day.

Try to think and say to yourself, “I am worthy and loved” then look for evidence that can support your thought. It can be anything. It may even be the tiniest affirmations you can get from your parents, friends, or even from your pet! Remember that there must always be someone who loves you, especially if that someone is yourself.

Now that we know why self-esteem is so important, here are the other tips you can use to break your self-doubt and increase your self-esteem:

1. Be kind to yourself. Think kinder and more gentle thoughts instead of criticizing yourself.

2. Stop comparing yourself with others as this will only lead you straight down to an abyss of unhappiness.

3. Be thankful for what you are and what you have as of the moment. There will always be something to be thankful for in our lives no matter how insignificant it may seem.

4. Be open to mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up every time you make a mess. Mistakes happen, and it’s a part of growing as a person.

5. Question your negative thoughts. Too often we are hit with irrational fears and nonsensical criticisms crafted by our own minds, and a simple way to break out of this spell is to ask the question, “Why?”. You’ll see your own brain scramble to find a reason every time you ask this question and eventually those thoughts that once scared you, simply don’t make sense to entertain anymore now.  

Bottom line, much of what causes our self-esteem to go down is rooted primarily in how we think and view ourselves as a person. We’ve let our negative and intrusive thoughts run rampant and unchecked for a long enough time that we thought it was normal and correct. However, it wasn’t healthy at all and it has been damaging us mentally and emotionally for a long time. Therefore, it’s time for us to take the power back for ourselves and hopefully, this article helps you boost your self-esteem once again!

Love Louise